the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize