I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
