I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
