I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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