I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
