It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You can't special order awesome
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
