I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
