dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
