I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Thank you for not boning my boss.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
