R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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