Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
