did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
