It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
