I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
