i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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