Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
