C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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