Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
MIDGETS
????
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
