i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
