If that was your dad, he is hot
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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