Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
