k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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