You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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