I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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