Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
