ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
