The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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