just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
