I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
