dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
