therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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