O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My vagina just recognized that song.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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