Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
