I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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