he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
