Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
