Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
