:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
