You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
40s are totally the cure
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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