Do you still have your period?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
