Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
And then he peed in my hair
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