i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
