i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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