I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize