just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
