i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
