I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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