I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
