Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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