And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
