I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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