So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
