Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
