I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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