I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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