Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
