I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
