Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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