Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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