FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
