You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The struggles of a small town man whore
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
