I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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