You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
