Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
